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THE NORTH AND THE SOUTH
The North has sun-dried toe-mah-toes.
The South has 'mater samiches.
The North has coffee houses.
The South has Waffle Houses.
The North has dating services.
The South has family reunions.
The North has double last names.
The South has double first names.
The North has an ambulance.
The South has an amalance.
The North has Indy car races.
The South has stock car races.
The North has Cream of Wheat.
The South has grits.
The North has green salads.
The South has collard greens.
The North has lobsters.
The South has crawdads.
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If you run your car into a ditch, don't panic. Four men in a four-wheel drive pickup truck with a tow chain will be along shortly.
Don't try to help them, just stay out of their way. This is what theylive for.
Don't be surprised to find movie rentals and bait in the same store...don't buy food at this store.
Remember, "y'all" can be singular, "all y'all" is plural and "all y'all's" is plural possessive.
Get used to hearing "You ain't from round here, are ya?"
Don't be worried at not understanding what people are saying.
They can't understand you either.
The proper pronunciation and grammar you learned in school is no longer proper.
Be advised that "He needed killin" is a valid defense down here.
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