If you live (or lived) in Cincinnati, then you:

**  Know who Ruth Lyons was

**  Know who the Cool Ghoul was

**  Know who Bob Braun was before he sold furniture on late night TV commercials

**  Know how to sing the "Audience wave" jingle from the "50-50 Club"

**  Know Skipper Ryle was a mentor

**  Immediately recognize the name Brent Spence (but you don't  know who the heck he was - see story below)

**  Know pigs do fly in Cincinnati,  as can be see by four majestic winged pigs at a riverfront park in Cincinnati,

     Paying homage to the fact that the City was once called Porkopolis and every Spring 1000's of runners flock to

     Cincy to run in the Flying  Pig marathon...one of the fastest growing marathons in the country

**  Know that the Cincinnati  airport isn't even in OHIO! Also that the airport  symbol (CVG) stands for

     Covington, KY!

**  Know that Reading Road is pronounced "RED"ing Road and NOT "READING" Road

**  Know what bread is "Hearth-baked on stone" (Rubel's rye bread)

**  Remember when the first "Gold Star Chili" parlor was named "Hamburger Heaven" in Mt. Washington: just

     across the street from the old movie theater.  The place served up a fine burger plus a very unusual chili

     and spaghetti combo.  And of course, nothing tasted better than those little hot dogs topped with chili,

     cheese and onions

**  Know who said, "I don't care about making $...I just looooove to sell carpet."

**  Spend every weekend in SEPTEMBER going to a different OKTOBERFEST!

**  Remember when the Bengals last went to the Superbowl that gas was $1.09/gal.

**  Have friends and neighbors with names like  Guckenberger, Hirlinger, Schottlekotte, Schraffenberger,

     Schoenling, Moerlein and other names that can relate to "Vas you ever in  Zinzinnati"?

**  Plan your summer weekends around the local parish festivals.  By parishes we mean names like St. Theresa,

     St. Dominic, Our Lady of Lourdes, St. Lawrence which differ from the parishes associated with New Orleans.

**  Know there are many tri-state areas across this great nation of ours but the one that always sticks in your

     mind is Ohio, Kentucky, Indiana  (Some say that's how Okeanna got its name...but those living in the small town

     of the same name say...the Tri-State name has nothing to do with the name of the town, even thought a few "funny

     guys" have said so over the years.  Okeana was a local Native American Princess...the town is named after her).

**  Can tell the difference between the following chili's in a taste test:

             Skyline, Cincinnati  Recipe, Empress, Gold  Star, Camp  Washington, Worthmore, any others?

**  Know how to spell our city and it's not:

            Cincinati

            Cincinatti

            Cincinnatti

            Cinninati

            (for  other versions check out ebay!)

**  Go to "Cookouts" not "BBQ's".

**  "Worsh" your clothes after you come home from "Worsh"ington!

**  Anytime anyone asks you where you graduated from, you answer (without hesitation) your high school. No

     one cares where you went to  college, only that you remember your fight song.

**  One of your favorite summer treats is either a 'Black Cow' or a 'Red Cow' (courtesy of Uncle Al and Cap'n Windy).

**  Know how to "save cash with "Cash"  (Cash Ambergy's Bargain Barn).

**  Know a cross-town shootout isn't a big fight in the wild west,  but a basketball game between two Cincy college

     rivals (UC and X)!

**  Pronounce our lovely city "sin-sin-nat-tee" not  "sin-sin-na-ta"

**  Take a leisurely summer drive through a suburban neighborhood and you see five or more cornhole games being

     played!

**  Know the Daniel Carter Beard Bridge is commonly referred to as Big Mac.

**  Know that Paul-baby isn't Newman (it's Dixon).

**  Know it's not Easter because Papas cream eggs are not for sale yet.

**  Are at a Bob Evans restaurant watching someone put ketchup (catsup) on their scrambled eggs.

**  Instead of saying "what?" or "huh?" you say "please?".

**  Add an "s" to the end of grocery store names, such as  Kroger(s), Meijer(s).

**  Take your "grips" instead of your "suitcases" when travelling.

**  Drive on shoulderless roads with hyphenated names, roads that change names at county lines, and roads known

     by multiple  names (i.e., Cincinnati-Dayton, Irwin-Simpson, Fields-Ertel, Socialville-Foster, Hamilton-Mason,     

     Loveland-Madiera, Reading - 42, Cincinnati/Columbus.

**  Can buy milk or beer by driving your automobile through a drive-through pole-barn.

**  Refer to the animal shelter/dog pound as "the SPCA", much to the bewilderment of individuals who have not

     lived in a  city with this independent, non-government organization.

**  Believe LaRosa's is fine Italian dining (WITH GREAT  SPAGHETTI SAUCE) and carry a "Buddy Card".

**  Recognize that Anthony Munoz is a former NFL Player and not a furniture salesman.

**  Have a strange love of GM vehicles.

**  Think a Xavier  University education is worth $20,000 per year and that the Xavier name is as nationally

     recognized as Duke, Harvard, Stanford or Princeton.

**  Will go to your grave reminding people that Pompilios was in the movie Rainman.

**  Can understand traffic reports which ignore road names and use phrases such as:  "Cut-in-the-hill", "the Lockland

     split", "the Lockland Canyon", "Turkey-foot", "Five-Mile", "The  S-Curve", and "Wards Corner".

**  Your favorite convenient store sounds like a labor union (United Dairy Farmers).

**  Can't hear the words "Mike Brown" without getting angry.

**  Honestly believe that Pete Rose should be in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

**  Miss Marge Schott (God bless her soul).

**  Don't think it's weird that everyone has an Uncle Al.

**  Your favorite Coney Island (SKYLINE CHILI!) isn't in  New  York.

**  Like Nick Clooney better than George Clooney. (You're also showing your age.)

**  Know how Jerry Springer got his start.

**  Know what a Pony Keg is and you run up to it to get drinks and snacks.

**  Know what brats and metts (i.e QUEEN CITY SAUSAGE) are,  and you've probably tasted goetta (GLIER'S!!).

**  Know that cars (like eggs) are cheaper in the country.

**  Know that Cherokee Motors was located at 7505 Vine (where Paddock meets Vine at the big Indian sign).

**  An all-boys or all-girls school doesn't seem that odd to you (since there's probably one in your neighborhood,

     and maybe  you even went to it).

**  Think a mixed marriage is when an East Sider marries a West Sider.

**  Know the difference between Hudy and "Who Dey"

**  Know what cream ale is, and you think that cream soda should be bright red (BARQ'S!).

**  Since the Big Tornado struck in 1999, you've been convinced that Pete Delkus is the nation's premier

     Meteorologist

**  Can visit California,  Lebanon,  and Moscow -- and go Over-the-Rhine ... all in the same day.

**  Ask the waitress for a three way and it isn't a sexual  proposition.  I always order a four way bean ..... they

     instantly know that I don't want any onions !!!  Of  course, I have to have a cheese coney and a Diet Pepsi!!!!

**  Shopping "downtown" at Shillito's, Pogue's and McAlpin's instead of Dillards and Macy's "at the mall." 

**  Remember the 'Midwestern Hayride'

**  Remember the Streitman Biscuit Company before Keebler purchased them.

**  Remember the Cincinnati Reds playing at Crosley Field and Riverfront Stadium.

**  Know the first pro baseball team was the Cincinnati Red Stockings in 1869.

**  Call it a "pop" not a soft drink or soda

**  (or your kids) played Knothole ball, not Little League

**  Know that "Millcreek" would not be a good bottled water name

**  Remember the flowers Ruth Lyons put on her microphone

**  Know Norwood, OH, is the only city that is completely surrounded by another city

**  Could take a picnic basked to Coney Island and it was still there at lunch

**  Asked for a beer and it was brewed in Cincinnati

**  Before Wal-Mart there was Rink's, Twin Fair, Kresgee's (at Tri-County Mall which was originally an "open air"

     mall), China Town & Ontario's

**  Remember Bob Shreve on Channel 9 for afternoon cartoons, the "All Night Theater and the Wild Mouse at Coney

     Island

**  Cruised up the Ohio on the Island Queen to Coney Island and danced at Moonlight Gardens and took a swim at

     Sunlight Pool. 

**  Remember Christmas wasn't complete until you saw the miniature train display at CG&E

**  Learned (maybe from a grandparent) that Cincinnati had the first full-time paid firefighters back in 1853 when

     the Cincinnati Fire Department became the first full-time paid professional fire department in the country

**  Know who said, on Reds' broadcasts, "This is the old left-hander, rounding third and headed for home." (Joe

     Nuxhall) and you also know who says:  "This one belongs to the Reds"  (Marty Brennemen)

**  Don't say y'all.  You say, "you guys" and that includes the women too (and some say, "yous guys")

**  Know that Kahn's is "the wiener the world awaited"

I  LOVE CINCINNATI!!!!!!!

* Brent Spence (1874 - 1967):  U.S. Congressman, born in Newport, KY, on December 24, 1874, the son of Philip and

  Virginia (Berry) Spence.  He received a law degree from the University of Cincinnati in 1894 and was admitted to

  the bar the same year.  Active in local and state politics, Spence served in the KY State Senate from 1904 to 1908.  In

  1930, he was elected on the Democratic ticket to the U.S. House of Representatives from the 6th District, serving

  from March 4, 1931, until January 3, 1963, when failing health forced him to retire.  At that time, Spence was one of

  the oldest members to serve in the House.  Spence was chairman of the powerful House Banking and Currency

  Committee from 1943 - 1964, except for four years when Republicans controlled Congress.  Spence married Ida

  Bitterman on September 6, 1919.  After leaving Congress, he lived in Fort Thomas until his death on September 18,

  1967, and was buried in the Evergreen Cemetery in Southgate, KY.  The Brent Spence Bridge opened on November

  25, 1963 (with dedication ceremonies delayed due to the assassination and funeral of President John F. Kennedy)

  as the Ohio River crossing for I-75.  The cost of the bridge was $10 million.