STB-81-06
OUR MOST VALUABLE ASSET:
FRIENDSHIP
By Alphonse Cerza
Grand Historian,
Grsnd Lodge A.F & A.M. of Illinois
Freemasonry has many facets which have
attracted men of good will of every race,
religion, political view, and social position into
its ranks throughout the world for many years.
Every member has his own individual reason
for joining the Craft, but generally its chief appeal is the charitable work it does, the
philosophy of life taught by the Craft with its
visible exhibition by Freemasons in their exemplary conduct in the everyday world. All
these items are important, but to the nonmember who has given this matter any thought
whatsoever it soon becomes apparent that the
greatest asset in Freemasonry is the spirit of
friendship that exists between Freemasons in
their relationship with one another and their attitude of thoughtfulness for the welfare of
others. For example, many years ago the words
"Mason" and "friendship" were often used
synonymously.
Our historical background supports this
view. Dr. James Anderson in his Constitutions
of the Free Masons, published in 1723,
reflected the traditional fundamental principles
of the Craft when he stated in the first Charge
that "Masonry becomes the Center of Union
and the Means of conciliating true friendship
among persons that must have remain'd at a
perpetual Distance." And in the 1738 edition of
the same book, the wording was changed slightly but the meaning was the same when he stated
"Thus Masonry is the Center of their Union
and the happy Means of conciliating Persons
that otherwise must have remain'd at a
perpetual Distance." This idea was not new
with Anderson since the idea of friendship
prevailed in the Ancient Manuscripts which required the members to address themselves as
"brothers," attend to their religious duties,
respect other members of the Craft, and that all
lodge members be considerate of each other
both inside and outside the Craft. There were
also provisions that members help each other in
finding employment or giving work to members
seeking employment or to give them money to
enable them to travel to the next place where
employment might be available. Furthermore,
when the Grand Lodge was formed in 1717, in
London, the leaders adopted a non-sectarian
rule and also prohibited the discussion of
political matters in the lodge. These new rules
were intended to eliminate friction and disharmony among the members and further promoted the idea of friendship. Requiring a belief
in God, teaching that all men are brothers, and
that we should always be kind and charitable
towards others has created an atmosphere of
harmony among the members and has promoted the development of warm and enduring
friendships between the members of the Craft.
It has also encouraged our members to be good
neighbors, good citizens, and to be loyal to
established government.
There are many definitions of the word
"friend." It means one who is in a warm personal relationship with another person. It
means a person who is ready to assist you in
your plans. Many years ago an English
periodical had a contest and offered a prize to
the person submitting the best definition of the
word "friend." Here are a few of the definitons
which were sent to the publication:
"One who multiplies joys, divides grief, and
whose honesty is inviolable."
"One who understands our silence."
"A watch which beats true and for all time
and never runs down."
And here is the definition that won first
prize: "A friend is the one who comes in when
the whole world has gone out."
Many years ago, my father stated to me that
the most valuable thing anyone can have is to
have a friend. But then he added that in order
to have a friend, you must be a friend. On other
occasions he would say that a friend is worth
more than a thousand ducats. You will note
that the idea is in the nature of a two-way
street. Freemasonry with its emphasis on the
obligations we owe to others exemplifies this
idea of the value of friendship in the strongest
way possible.
What great persons have said about the subject of "friends" is of interest because the
statements reveal a deep need for friends and
their importance in the lives of persons to make
them happy. Aristotle, in his Nichomachean
Ethics, said: "The perfect friendship is that between good men, alike in their virtues." Keats,
the great English poet, compared friends to "a
beacon light guiding a ship into port on a dark
misty night." Brother George Washington, in
one of his letters, said: "Actions, not words,
are the true criterion of attachment of friends."
Thomas Jefferson said: "One gives meaningful
expression to friendship only when he does
something thoughtful, unselfish or pleasantly
surprising for the person he esteems." In a
poetic mood, Oliver Wendell Holmes described
friendship as "the breathing rose with sweets in
every fold." Seneca, the Roman savant, once
said: "Friendship sweetens all our cares and
dispels our sorrows." Coleridge, the English
poet, said: "Friendship is a sheltering tree." Sir
Francis Bacon wrote that "friendship
redoubleth joys, and cutteth griefs in half."
And let us not forget the lesson exemplified in
the fifteenth Scottish Rite degree of the Northern Masonic Jurisdiction: "Life Without
Friends is Worthless."
The true value of friends cannot be
understimated. There is nothing worse than being alone or having the feeling that there is no
one around that you can rely on for help or
companionship. Nothing can be more depress-
ing then the feeling that there is no one that
cares about your welfare. On the positive side,
the mere fact that one knows that he has
friends is a comforting feeling. So that the
possession of friends is an absolute necessity in
life in order to be happy. I remember an old
friend who was a bachelor and had no close
relatives. He lived in a rooming house where
most of his fellow roomers were transients. Being a member of the Craft opened up many op-
portunities for him to spend his time profitably.
Rather than going to his room each evening
after work, he managed to go to his lodge on
each meeting night. He also "adopted" a
number of other lodges within a reasonable
distance and visited them regularly. Many of
the members of those lodges saw him so
regularly that they never realized that he was
only a visitor and not a regular member of that
lodge. He always pitched in when there was a
need for workers and he made himself useful.
At these lodge meetings he paid special attention to the reports about members and he took
notes. On nights that he was not attending
lodge meetings, he visited sick members, offered to do things for them, and cheered them
up with his presence. Thus he was being a real
friend toward his fellow members and it gave
him a genuine "lift" to feel that he was utilizing
his time doing something worthwhile. This illustrates how Masonic friendship is a two-way
street in that benefits result to everyone with
these many contacts at meetings and with other
relationships.
I am also reminded of the member who
came from a family in which he was an only
child. He missed the usual activity within a
family unit where there are a number of brothers and sisters. When he joined the Craft, he
acquired a large number of Brothers and he acquired the feeling that he was no longer alone.
To him the word "Brother" meant a great deal
more than it did to the average member. Joining the Craft was a deeply moving experience
for him for he realized that he had acquired an
unspecified number of friends to whom he was
bound by an obligation stronger than any
physical binding could be.
The member who becomes active in his
Masonic lodge and engages in its work by
necessity will be in contact constantly with
other members who are also similarly engaged.
Taking part in meaningful and worthwhile projects with other good men creates a com-
araderie between them which blossoms forth into intangible and unexpressed respect by one
person for another. Because of these projects,
Freemasonry offers unlimited opportunity for
the creation of warm and close friendships
among its members. The Mason who does not
regularly attend lodge meetings and also
engages in some work for the lodge and its
members misses one of the valuable assets
which the lodge has to offer its members. The
opportunity to make friends.
Another element which contributes to this
development of close friendships within the
Craft, is the philosophy that Masons are taught
to be charitable and that this word is to be construed in its broadest sense. To the Mason it
means more than just giving alms; it means
more than writing a check for a worthy cause.
It means that you will go that extra mile to help
another person in need of help beyond any call
of duty. It means that you will listen to a
Brother's troubles as he seeks to unburden
himelf of his feeling or desire to talk things over
with someone. It means to sympathize with a
person who is in pain or in trouble and thereby
help him to lighten the burden. The lesson of
the faithful breast and the listening ear are
always before us.
Masons who join appendant bodies of the
Craft often do so in order to expand their
Masonic contacts and to extend their charitable
work because these bodies always have such
projects. When good men gather together to accomplish something that will benefit the Craft,
its members, and the community these types of
associations are by necessity ones that cover
long periods of time and require many hours of
working together with good men to accomplish
worthy goals. Such increased association is
bound to develop mutual respect among
members working together which will develop
into warm friendship.
When a Mason meets another Mason for
the first time, he knows that the other person
believes in God, that he therefore believes that
all men are brothers, and that as a result he
must be kind to other persons and help them in
every possible way. Such knowledge is bound to
bring the two persons closer together for they
instinctively realize that they have many beliefs
in common. You know without any express
statement that a spiritual tie exists between
Masons because you can expect honorable conduct from the new contact.
For one who travels extensively, Masonic
friendship manifests itself time and again.
Whether it is visiting a Masonic lodge or attending a meeting of an appendant body, or in the
market place, when you meet another Mason
you always feel a kinship with him. You
always find the door open with a welcome sign.
This can be valuable if you are in a strange
place. It becomes doubly valuable if you are in
need of suggestions, advice or help of some
kind. You not only have a comfortable feeling
because you know help is near, but there is also
a feeling of trust and faith that is so valuable in
all human relationships.
Non-Masons often have observed that there
exists between Masons an elusive something
that creates a spirit of friendly relations between Masons. It is to be noted that strangers
who meet and discover that both are members
of the Craft immediately feel a kinship with
each other. Masons recognize this mutual feeling and describe it as the "tie that binds" but
this general description mystifies and intrigues
non-members. He notes the friendly feeling
that exists between the members though they
may have just met, but he does not realize that
when Masons meet for the first time they instinctively feel a close relationship because of
the unique teaching methods used in the conferring of the three degrees, whereby certain
obligations are assumed which bind Masons to
a high moral code which makes them better
men on the spiritual and moral level.
This valuable asset of Freemasonry too
often is so obscured that few of our members
are aware of it. We should call this to their attention. Having a large number of friends will
make a person happier, a better person, and
happy persons help make this a better place in
which to live. This elusive element of
Freemasonry is the most valuable asset that
each of us has as a member of the Craft and it is
also one of the most valuable assets of
Freemasonry as an organization.
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